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by Marginal at Best

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1.
Oryza Sativa 02:15
You’ve held me enough that I didn’t feel anything this time And my hands were asleep so I didn’t feel anything at all I’m sorry I moved, I’m sorry the phone rang I didn’t mean to ruin it I didn’t mean anything at all But it still happened My sheets still smell like you But I can’t bring myself to wash them But I can’t bring myself to wash them And my hands still smell like you But I can’t bring myself to wash them But I can’t bring myself to wash them Anymore
2.
I can’t relax I guess I wouldn’t have expected it But you say that someone’s gotta get it over with I don’t want to work I don’t want to eat I want someone to complain to I want someone who will listen and try to help And then I’ll get upset that they try and understand It’s silly thinking, it’s silly thinking It matters that much Why relax? When I could come home to more stress? Even if I tried to raise my voice, the sound won't carry far enough I don’t believe in chance I missed you again There aren’t powers There’s just people There aren’t powers There’s just people There aren’t powers There’s just people And there’s assholes Like me
3.
In a narrow hallway, I was spray painting I didn’t mean to inhale, but I did anyways And I felt my head go to shit It started frightening me One day I won’t be able to skip stairs Or walk without a limp My knees will be too frail for my body I am tired of seeing those two together She missed my birthday because of him But I don’t want to call her out I don’t need her pity I am not obsessed with myself And now I’m at the same tempo as the Ending of Dramamine And I never even liked that song It dragged on too long But I was young, I am thin, I had money, and I love you But then came the shabbity bop bop ba shibba day oh yeah Shabbity bop bop ba shibba day- Fuck I am 17 Sex is the only goal I am 17 and I don’t know how to touch you But that doesn’t mean That “I fucked Tyler before we were dating” “I fucked Tyler before he was into me” And you say it eating chicken at a coffee table, Buffalo sauce all over your fingers And your lips smack together and I don’t wanna see it But I only remember because I wrote it down And I didn’t have another option I miss you, don’t taunt me I miss you, don’t taunt me If you had to, would you tell him what you told me? If he asked you, would you tell him what you told me? It got worse from where it started I can try to be a better person I will try to be a bigger person I cannot control what I say I can only control how you take it But lately, you haven’t touched anything Lately you’ve been getting mad at little things And you lied, You went home and got high on halloween night And I didn’t say shit about it I shoulda said shit about it
4.
I no longer have a way with words I will stutter, I will break I am fragile, my hair doesn’t slick back It just hangs limp off my head And half the time, I don’t know what I’m feeling I didn’t mean to get attached But do you know yet? This vehicle makes wide turns and it doesn’t stop for pedestrians I could call you a bitch, I could call you a lot of things But I wouldn’t mean them ‘Cause I put my head down just to see if you would notice I got up when you didn’t notice It’s time to move on It’s time to move on It’s time to move on If you give it a name you can call it whatever you’d like But it’s real If you give it a home it’ll crawl back eventually You harbor a piece of me And I know it’s bullshit when you Say you’re over it ‘Cause I have said the same things And still I cannot completely erase your space in the place right next to me At least she turns around It’s time to move on It’s time to move on It’s time to move on And I know one day I will regret this And I know one day I will come up with better words than this But today I am angry And tomorrow I will not remember why
5.
S.U.M.K. 03:42
I find it much more comforting when you are at home And we are both alone But now I am afraid I have stuck my foot in my mouth And it's not coming out Anytime soon And if my friendly banter offends you Just know that I was never a friend to begin with This is love but it's not and now I'll never have a gun again I did not get drunk on New Year's Eve I did not get plastered I watched the countdown on a shitty YouTube live-stream And when the ball dropped I realized I was still in someone else's house But if my witty banter offends you nine times out of ten, The joke goes over your head And so nine times out of ten You have no right to be offended Because you couldn't understand that I was talking about you

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released June 20, 2022

Ian did everything

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